Growing Into Your Parenting Role

  Everyone who owns a pet says their pet is "part of the family," and they treat them as such.  When we bring a new pet into our home, we know it's important to train them to follow the household rules—just like we do with our children. If we take a step back and objectively examine how we train our pets, we might discover a valuable lesson in how we guide and teach our children.  Read the following parable and let me know what you think.  

In a previous post, I made a passionate plea for parents to abandon spanking as a behavior modification tool and adopt a mentor/coach parenting style instead. If you’re ready to try it, let me assure you that making this shift may not be as hard as you think. My wife and I experimented with this approach for just a few months before we were convinced it was a better way to raise our children. Our mentor/coach approach was built around asking questions and allowing the child to "discover" solutions. Years later, when I authored my book "Growing Into Your Parenting Role," it was comforting to realize that we had discovered a mentor/coach process early in our parenting journey that aligned with expert recommendations. I want to teach you what I learned. Taking The First Step Transitioning to a mentor/coach parenting style may seem daunting. Correcting behavior through questions instead of commands will require a significant shift in behavior and possibly personality. T...

  The Delima When our kids were very young, my wife and I experimented with all types of parenting techniques, including spanking. If one of our children did not follow the rules, did not do their chores, or acted inappropriately, it was possible they would be spanked. During the same period, I launched my training company and hired a small staff. I noticed something very interesting about how I administered discipline at home and at work. When my employees failed to follow the rules, did not complete their work on time, or acted inappropriately, I pulled them aside for mentoring and coaching to correct the behavior. However, that was not what I did with my kids, and I asked myself, Why not? Am I not trying to get the same thing from my kids that I want from my employees? Obey the rules Do your work, do it on time, and do it well   Be on your best behavior Then I asked myself, Why am I using two different behavior modification styles? Why am I not using the same style f...